Thursday, October 4, 2012

My experiences of the drug filled life of being a young boy

Drugs and all of the fun stuff

The first time I looked at drugs was when i was 12 years old. I had no Idea til I reached the 8th grade to learn what drugs are and what do they do to you. Later on in my teenage years I was hanging out with guys that smoked pot on a regular basis and was a normal thing for me to do as well. When I worked at Mcdonalds i was 16 and smoking before and after work was a normal routine.

My first boyfriend which I met off of ADAM4ADAM I drove all the way to Schenectady to meet him and it was around 11pm. We both sat on the couch and just chilled watching some Train movie that I forgot the name of. He asked me for a beer and why not I didn't want to seem like I was a little boy while he was 28. So we started drinking and talking about our past relationships and dramatic events that happened to us. We had many sleep overs just like this and it was amazing, there was some kind of click with us and then we went into his bedroom and by this time it was ready for bed but he wanted to download some illegal movie on his computer that we could fall asleep to. I was very anxious about being with a guy in bed for the first time. Mind you I was 17 and never had sex with a man. So when we were all comfortable in his big lovely bed. I started poking around and found his penis. It was quite large and I wanted to try to bottom. So long story short! We started fucking and then he pulls out this little white bag and said would you like to try some! I said sure. It was coke, I had never tried it before and I knew it wasn't going to be the last time. On July 16th I finished high school and wanted to move to the sin city Las Vegas on my own to attend college.

Being on my own I dropped out of college, started escorting, doing porn and found where to find the hard core drugs. I met a local porn star at this sex party (PNP) that I was asked to go to. I had no idea that this guy was going to be there or what it was about but when I walked threw the door I saw him there naked and I all I remember was starring at him and I noticed I was taking my clothes off to. But that's how we met and he was basically the one that guided me through the start of my porn career. He was a 29 year old muscular dream that I could have only dreamed about having sex with but was reality. He took care of me, cooked me breakfast, talked to me about his family and we fucked alot. It came to a screeching halt when he and his actual bf were starting to have problems but I made sure that his bf was not aware of me and my involvement with him. But some how he pushed me away and ignored that I existed, like blocking my number and reading my messages but not responding! This absolutely killed me and felt like I was being played again. I was thinking more into why he changed and he stopped talking to me. Many things were going threw my head He started to fall in love with me. He was scared that I only just turned 18, or He didn't want to poison me and give me HIV. Of course what I've came to assume was the worse. He was HIV positive and he takes medicine for it. I came to this particular conclusion is that he was always up early in the morning, when he had a client he would be gone longer than what he said, the last key of evidence that I saw, his bf on a4a stating that hes positive. Naturally I freaked the fuck out and was scared that I was walking around with a disease that I was not even aware of. I tried to put my self out there to him and let me know what I know what was going on and I needed help from him to comfort me or some how help me threw this process if I indeed have it. I know that in all of the times we ever had sex I came up his ass and that was it. So I was in some kind of percentage that I didn't have it. I waited 8 months before I had my breakdown to get tested and come to realization if I was positive or negative. I got tested in March of 2012 and then again on August 2nd. I'm happy to say that I'm HIV negative and clean as of today.
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